I am not advocating fighting as a way to resolve issues. Thankfully, not one of my children has ever been in a fist fight, (they were a "way of life" where I grew up). Having said that, I have instructed each of my children growing up, that we would back them 100% should they ever be in a fight out of self defence or because they were sticking up for another child. They have been taught to try every other means of resolution, from getting help, to walking away; BUT if they were "backed into a corner", they were to fight with all they had. They were shocked at these instructions...(as may be some readers), but they were not to be intimidated to a place of allowing someone else...child or adult...to hurt them.
They would react that they would get suspended. We agreed that that was likely to be the case, and that although we would talk to teachers...we might not be able to do anything about that.
As a very little girl, I think I was pretty confident. I was born a "Down East City Girl", had a lot of friends was the "life of the party" and was only in one fight that I remember, at least up to Grade 2.
There was a grade 4 bully at our bus stop. He terrorized a number of the girls...verbally and physically. This went on for ages, my older sister was one of the prime targets.
My parents tried to have it stopped...at that time the school would only do something if the issue was on school property.
We would try to anticipate where he would get off the bus, and get off a stop or two earlier or later. He was smart enough to catch on to us...and would eventually come at my sister again. Once, he even held her face down in a ditch full of water.
Well, that did it for me. Some where along the way, I determined that this had to end, and that if this bully picked on any of the girls the next morning; (He never actually did anything to me during this whole time), I was going to give him "what for".
Sure enough, as we arrived at the bus stop the next morning, there he was mouthing off and intimidating some girl. I don't even remember being scared...he was quite a bit bigger than me, I walked right up to him and punched him as hard as my little 7 year old fist could, right in the stomach. I think I shocked him...I certainly couldn't have hurt him THAT much.
That was the end of the bus stop torment for all of the girls. From that day forward, that particular bully was very nice to my sister and I.
Actually, the next week, we got invitations to his birthday party....
As an adult, I think back to that incident, and wonder how much sooner the torment might have stopped if any of us had simply stood up to this bully sooner.
I think it is often the same with the enemy of our souls. I have watched, listened and come into agreement with his lies, and "bullying tactics", on more than one occasion over the years. I have allowed him to take his "punches " at me, and felt I had no recourse.
I have allowed him to dictate, who I was, and how much I was worth.
I'd say, looking back, he was pretty successful at bullying me into the corners he wanted me bound up in.
That was until my Heavenly Father taught me a valuable lesson...the purpose of my Ephesians 6 armor. He made it very clear to me that all but one piece of the armor that He requires me to stand in are for defensive purposes. I am not to go looking for battles with the enemy..but my Father gave me one amazing offensive weapon...the very same one Jesus used when He was face to face with the devil in the wilderness... I have the VERY sword that Jesus used to defeat the enemy that would try to destroy Him and His purposes. He left it to me, His heir...(and to all others who would choose to wield this mighty weapon). I don't have to allow myself to be bullied anymore, I can fight back with all of the power and might and AUTHORITY of the word of God.
Guess what? If, I find myself having to fight in self defence, or to go into battle on behalf of someone else who is being bullied by this enemy...MY HEAVENLY FATHER WILL BACK ME 110%!!!
Now all I have to do is to remember to stand up to him the first time he throws out an accusation...and not put up with the bullying for a while first.