Friday, October 3, 2008
You came into my life only a few short weeks ago.
I prayed for you from the moment I suspected you existed.
So many others have prayed and done battle for you.
I hope you know that you have changed me...forever.
I lay awake at night thinking, worrying, dreaming and praying for you and for all those who's lives you touched and changed.
I hope you know that you were truly loved here on earth.
I hope you know you WERE chosen, first by God...and by so many who wish it had been their choice. I wish you had been my choice.
My head knew a week ago that it was likely your time here on earth would be short....far, far too short...but my heart never really gave up.
I had a dream about your mommy Tuesday night...she told me "you were fine"...I was so happy to hear that in the dream, but I was still so worried about your mommy.
By the time I had my dream, you really were fine....safe in the hands of Jesus for a full day.
I know that you are happy and safe in Heaven, I believe I will get to meet you there one day...
But right now, my heart grieves and aches as if you truly were my own.
I am a little taken back by the strength of this grief...I hope you know that you are grieved and that although your mommy is happy to "be back to normal" after the "surgery", she just does not fully understand. I worry about your mommy and I will do my best to be there for her and to watch over her.
To help her start making really good choices.
I hope you know that I miss you very much, and I grieve what could have been for you.
Your introduction to my life has been one of the toughest experiences of my life and certainly the toughest of my job...but even in the pain, I am so glad you and your mommy came into my life.
You were a blessing "Little Baby C"