Just a Little Weary

It's been a really long and trying week...

So much in my heart 

I have not been able to locate "Little Mommy" at school in  a week...

that is not a good sign

My heart aches, but I can't give up hope until we talk again

Holly, Shaun and I had chatted about this at Hip Hop on Thursday eve.

On the way home afterwards, I stopped at a light

You'll never guess who walked in front of my vehicle...

Little Mommy and Boyfriend

I am realizing that God can cause our paths to cross anywhere, any time

 and am waiting on Him...

But it's been hard

Also had quite a run in with a "tough guy" at school this week

I hate being the Meany Hall Monitor...I REALLY hate it!

I know I am fair...yet it doesn't feel like it when the kids don't see it that way.

He won't talk to me right now, but I have prayed for him and He smiled and chuckled as he refused to talk to me towards the end of the week.

I think he'll come around.

There have been some other more personal heart wrenching situations over the weekend

So, I have not recuperated as much as I would have liked

I am just a little weary from the battle right now.

I have felt the need to put my sword down and rest for a while...

Yet the urgency of the moment won't allow it

So...I am drawing on Him as I prepare for the coming week

 and praying that it will be a week full of good news!

On A Lighter Note:

You would never know it by coming into my home, (well maybe my tea cupboard would hint at it), but I am by nature, very organized.

I like everything to have a place and when used, returned exactly to that place.

Being married for 19 years to a man who does not value this quality quite as much as I would like, and raising 4 children, (not one of whom seems to have inherited this valuable trait!); I have decided not to make this a point of war in our home....which means, there is very little order and organization.

At times, denying my nature in this area, is trying, but I compensate in little areas.

One such area, is my purse. 

My purse is completely organized.

There is a pocket for lip gloss, another for keys, a pouch for all the children's health cards (organized in order by birth), there is another pocket for sunglasses and finally, one that holds a small emergency kit with band aids and the like.

Everything has a place, and I don't lose things....really ever. If I need something in a hurry or am running late, all of my necessities are right where I left them....

UNLESS someone else has used them!

This morning I awoke to an intruder rifling through my purse...my hubby no less!

I had him cease immediately.

Later, when I got up, sure enough, the little first aid kit had been THROWN into the main compartment, along with emergency ladies' products that all belong in a specific pocket.

Can you really blame me, for giving Mark a hard time about not putting things back where they belong, and keeping my purse off limits? After all, I have to have one small area of organization in my life!

We are having this conversation, complete with Mark making excuses, (which just makes me all the more determined), in the kitchen while Jianna is eating breakfast.

Just as I am gaining ground, Little One pipes up:

"No offense mom..."

Whenever Jianna starts out a sentence, with "No Offence", look out! She is about to point out something (usually obvious), that she thinks might be upsetting to you...Usually, it makes for quite a laugh.

"No offence Mom, but you are kind of treating dad like he is a child"

OUCH!!

Mark LOVED this...no, I mean he REALLY loved it!!

In the end, I think Mark did get the picture about my purse, and Jianna conceded that dad was acting a little bit like a kid too...so there! I WON!!!!

"Baby C" Update

I am going to call this wee one "Baby C" for Chosen by God. Please continue to pray, a very long week and a long story, but I finally got to talk to  little mommy today. We actually had quite a chat....she was very responsive to me, and my heart aches all the more, but I also have hope. 

Bottom line is, Little Mommy does not want to have an abortion...she has tried to talk to her mom, but mom sees no other way. She has even tried to talk about adoption with mom, but SO FAR, mom says "no".

I have stressed to "Little Mommy" that it is her choice to make in the end and that not even mom can make this choice....and that although we all wish this had never happened...she has to make the best possible choices from here on.

Right now, "Baby C" lives...and an abortion date has NOT been set.

I have offered to help in any and every way possible should she choose to carry this baby to term.

I have asked her to please come and talk to me, even if she chooses to abort. That I will not judge her and that no matter what, she will need someone who knows what's going on to talk to. (Right now, other than Rhonda, through my updates, I am the only staff member that knows all that is happening with Little Mommy)

I have told her that I understand her mom's fears and why she is being as determined as she is, but that there is help available should she make a different choice.

 Little Mommy has stated she does not want to "kill her baby", but feels she has no choice as we are talking about a very young teen with hopes of college...She told me "my mom is my world, if she won't change her mind, I have no choice".

Please pray for mom....such a wedge of bitterness could develop if she forces this against Little Mommy's will.

We need mom's heart to change!!!!

I will update as I can...Please pray for continued favor for me with Little Mommy and hopefully anyone else involved!

Pray protection over Baby C...no matter how long this little one exists on earth...it is cared for and chosen by God. 

My heart aches for God's chosen one to be given the choice and gift of life...

A Meeting By Chance?

We met by "chance" as she passed in the hall
So many new faces...but this one is different.
Something's not right, I wait by the bathroom
To check on this young one who has caught my attention

She's sick and she's scared...she's only a child.
"Is it possible?" was my question
"we've been dating 7 months..." was her reply
I wonder if she still thinks it was worth it...


She'd just talked to mom, the doctor's been called
She'll know by tonight...but my heart knows it now
I get her crackers and water and tell her to rest
As I leave her my heart begins to cry out

Two young ones made choices
Now, so many in pain...This scared one
A baby?
The families of both

My mother's heart feels compassion
How would I react?
My baby's too young...and her body so small
My dreams for her future are quickly dissolving

Would the thought cross my mind?
To not face the shame and the fear...
So many lives in the balance
Will they see any other choice?

My spirit is heavy and cries to the Lord
Wisdom, protection, Divine intervention
Healing and wholeness
Let them know there ARE choices

The days go by, I continue to pray
Till I "happen" to see her and ask how she is.
My heart had not lied, the baby is real
She's feeling better, but an appointment's been made.

My heart grieves at the news
Can't they see another way?
When I ask how she'll feel, her answer sounds practiced
I can't disagree when she tells me... she's simply too young.

The decision's been made, yet I can't give up hope
Intercession comes often..."Choose LIfe" is my prayer
and for one more "chance" meeting to present one more option,
and a cry to this baby ...I WANT YOU TO LIVE!

A Time to Remember...

I Made It!!!!

Well! I made it!!!! Twenty eight hours of walking later, I have come out tired and feeling like I have metal plates for shins, but relatively unscathed.

I wondered what I would possibly do for 7 hours a day, and just how long that time would seem....but, I should not have worried. School is a very busy place to be the first week of September. Almost all of the kids were great, even a few challenges from last year seem to have come around...or are lulling me into a "honeymoon period" so they can catch me unaware.....but see! I have already thought of that!

Some kids were actually quite happy to see my return and it was nice to reconnect with kids I'd gotten to know last year.

Many of the grade nines are truly like little lost sheep and I felt quite useful at times to be able to help them find their way and to realize that this new giant (to them) school was not so intimidating after all.

By first lunch period today, I was feeling like I had conquered the craziness of first week, quite satisfactorily....

OHHHH, but I had not yet experienced the absolute pandemonium that fills the ventilation system of a high school on the first game day that the senior football team plays of their new season on home field......can we scream TESTOSTERONE?!?!??!?!

Of course being the senior team, they had to get ready in the upper lockers right at the time that I am on patrol trying to maintain order and quiet for the students who are actually in class...I am not sure any were!

Every football player seemed to have an entourage of 4-6 friends, fans and girlfriends in tow...and every one of them had what they considered a legitimate reason to be in the upper hallways.

I would no sooner reason, negotiate, explain and eventually demand a group of 4 or 5  leave, when a group of 8 more would appear some where else! They were like breeding bunnies!!!!

I even resorted to lieing to the football players when they would ask me the time, in order to make them think they were going to be late on the field.....

I am not proud of this fact, but desperate times call for desperate measures!

Of course being the first game of the season...only the obedience brain cells seem to have been damaged so far and I was not able to pull off my bluff...sigh!

(Don't worry Rhonda, your football star was not actually a part of my chaos.)

Not having grown up a football fan and having learned very little from my Jon's time playing, I was never so happy to see that a football practice had started and was completely giddy when the game actually started!!!!

GO CHARGERS!!!!!