A New Day is Dawning

Notice the key here?

It's the state of OUR heart, not the depth of the darkness that dictates the dawning of the light.

Bitterness and unforgiveness only enable the darkness, yet when we are able to give grace, show compassion and act according to His righteousness IN THE MIDST OF OUR DARKNESS, it is then that His light will "dawn".

Help me Lord to be upright before you.

I am the "Not so Independent Woman"

As a woman and a person, I have considered myself quite strong and fairly independent...except when it comes to gassing up the car and other "icky jobs".
Not that I have ever thought of myself as an island or anything, but yesterday I was sorely reminded of just how much I NEED my husband.
Mark and Rhonda's Mark left Sunday to take Sarah to Oklahoma...Long story and many border delays later, but originally as this trip was planned, My Jonathan was to be away at a leadership camp with school....this was perfect as he is my only teenager and as those of you who have or have had teens know...he would require the most extra rescheduling. (those not there yet, take my word for it..."let them be little")

Because of the delays, Mark left, the day Jonathan was coming home...Wednesday went well, some extra driving, but Jon didn't have to work, so we did quite well. I think I got lulled in to thinking I could really DO this.
Wednesday night, I realized (at 11:00) that I had a chiro. appt at the same time I was to be at Literacy at Jianna and Michael's school. I cancelled the appt. And sorted out how I could finish work, do literacy, pick up Jonathan and get him to work, pick up Jianna and Michael from their school and get papers and homework done before "Fun Fair"...(the great "oxymoron")..Oh that was my second Fun Fair this year...both without Mark.

Things got hectic, but step by step I was making it with only a few delays...at least that's what I THOUGHT!

I was done Literacy at 3:00 and the bell rings at 3:15...I had Jonathan stay at school and do homework as he was done at 2:30. I pulled Michael and Jianna out early so we could get Michael's papers done before the Fun Fair.
Jon has called twice to see if I was coming....another teen thing....life revolves around them...(and he's a GOOD teen!).
I assure him I am pulling out of the parking lot at 3:15 and am coming straight there.
As I come to the intersection where I would turn home, I remember.....(those who know us, what's been missing in this post? Or should I say WHO????)
MARIA!!!!!!
AIIIIGGGHHH!!!
It is now 3:20 and Maria is usually home from her bus at 2:55!!!!!
I had totally forgotten my first born daughter for a full 25 minutes!!!

YEP!!! Mother of the year award goes to JEN....NOT!!!!
There she was, on the front step...simply waiting, extremely unfazed....though she really needed to go potty.
I guess there is an advantage to raising very independent children...not too much overwhelms them....of course this independence might be a contributor to being able to actually FORGET one of the miracles I gave life to!

I have come to realize that as strong and independent as I may THINK I am....It's all a farce!
I NEED MY HUSBAND!!!!!
Parenting 4 kids takes 2!!!

Thankfully, it's the weekend, everyone survived...and without nightmares, and Mark should be home in about 1/2 an hour!!!!!
WOO HOO!!!!

Boys Will Be Boys

Don't let the quiet, serious seeming exterior fool you. This is the face of a prankster, and when he is not pulling pranks, he is brain storming with friends to come up with some late great thrill seeking invention.

We had a visit from Tom tonight. Tom is the Father of 2 of Michael's friends,(fellow schemers).

It seems our three boys had an old bike that they had taken the tires off of and had duct taped all of the sharp edges. Phase 1 of the plan...done in their garage. 

Thankfully, Tom got wind of phase 2 and was over to warn all three boys to scrap the plan.

Phase 2 was to use this duct taped-death-trap as a new thrill seeking ride on our trampoline!

I am imagining broken bones and broken trampoline all around...I am thankful for extra eyes and angels of protection when it comes to these boys!!!!!

Choose Life

Words that heal and bring life...lies that crush the spirit.

Lord help me to be a tree of life...even as my spirit is crushed.

"Set a watch before my tongue Oh Lord..."

A Truly Wonderful Mother's Day!

My Mother's Day actually started on Sat. as the girls, Mark and I went to the paint store to pick out a new color for my kitchen.
I ended up in bed loaded up on Benadryl...(seems I am highly allergic to Spring Cleaning, well at least the dust in my curtains and the grasses being mowed as I am cleaning my windows).
While I slept, Mark taped up the kitchen and he and the girls painted for me...I did crawl out of bed to assist the girls in where and how to paint. I had chosen a Terra Cotta color and it looks BEAUTIFUL!!! I LOVE my kitchen, and it feels so good to have jobs like that done and turn out so well.

Sunday morning, as I awoke, I thanked God for the years that I was blessed to have my mom here on earth with me. I asked Him to give her a kiss and tell her "Happy Mother's Day" for me. It was wonderful to be able to remember mom with only a passing bit of sadness, but instead to be truly thankful for all that I am blessed with.
Jonathan had to work, so everybody else took me to Red Rock Canyon for a lovely brunch, then we picked up our puppy and headed over to the county...Bloomfield actually. It was perfect weather for browsing shops and enjoying my family. We stopped for homemade ice-cream before it was time to head back to Belleville for my date with Jonathan.


Jonathan met me in the parking lot at the golf course and drove me to the driving range. Very surreal to be in the passenger seat of ANY vehicle while my son was at the wheel....I guess it was another baby step for me as My eldest turns 16 this summer.
Jonathan treated me to a bucket of balls and taught me to hit a golf ball. We were both pleased and surprised by my abilities....I would have been happy to just not look like and idiot out there, but it turns out I could actually hit the ball quite straight and after a while even got some decent distance. Jonathan looked at me at one point and said, "Mom, you may have found your sport". I think I will be taking some lessons this summer, and enjoy the world of golf that my son and hubby love. I may have to find some like minded girlfriends as I have been told that men like to golf as something to do with the guys...but I imagine I could convince my hubby to take me once and a while.

After my golf lesson, Jonathan took me to Sweet Escapes, a wonderful little cafe that Holly has mentioned in the past. We LOVED it there! I was treated to White Rose tea, (a perfect Mother's Day tea, as it smells just like a dozen roses, but has a wonderful mild tea taste), we shared a very yummy dessert. We were both VERY impressed and since Starbucks has become my hubby's "board room", I think I will steal him away to Sweet Escapes when we want to have "US" time.

All in All, I believe this may have been my favorite Mother's Day to date.
Thank You Father for the beautiful day and the beautiful family that you have blessed me with.

Shall We Dance?

My "Mom E", (Mark's birth mom), sent this to me, I had not seen it yet and LOVE it.

I just had to share it with you all.

Thank You MomE and Happy Mother's Day!

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.
But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.

For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling, His consistently.
You and Jesus are walking as true friends!

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.
Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one.

This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.
Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.

You are amazed and shocked.

Your dream ends. Now you pray:

"Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You."

"That is correct."

"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely."

"Very good.. You have understood everything so far."

When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way."

"Precisely."

"So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first."

There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.

"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"

Confirmations and Clarity

I really love it when God gives immediate answers to barely spoken prayers.

Most of the kids in the high school are really quite enjoyable....but there are some....

I  have a table full that I can honestly say, I wish were graduating tomorrow.

Silly issues like their lunch garbage, but so much rebellion just oozing from them.

Today, I had to lay the law down with one particular young lady and received the usual scowls, defiance and general lack of respect.

This always leaves me feeling like the "bad guy" and I really hate being the bad guy.

I always tell the kids that they get to choose whether I am the bad guy or the good guy based on their personal choices. I still hate it though.

Not the best start to my second period on duty.

As the halls were clearing, I had a quick chat with a couple of girls, one of whom is always SOOOO sweet, offers to keep me company, compliments, just a real sweet smiley girl.

She did, (once again) ask me about the 'monotony' of my job. I can't even begin to count the number of kids who have offered to 'entertain', or keep me company while on my rounds. 

I have been bribed with candy, coerced by their imaginative ways of helping me keep order, their tricks and ideas.

As entertaining as most of them are, I decline; informing them that I have come to see 'boredom' as a good thing in the overall scheme of things....excitement means there is something happening, that probably should not.

As I tried not to focus on the painstakingly slow movement of the hands on the clock; I began to talk to God. I asked Him, "Why am I really here? Sure I get paid pretty well for walking laps...but surely this isn't all there is to it."

As I neared the end of my shift, my answer came. First through a young man who was the first of only 2 kids I had to send to the office and the first time I really wondered if I might be in physical danger.

We had talked after our confrontation and this guy has been nothing but respectful to me ever since. I hadn't seen him much recently, and today as he was leaving his locker, he asked me how I was. We chatted and he told me I hadn't seen him because he has been attending more classes...seems an administrative ultimatum might have had something to do with this.

I encouraged him that the best way to get out from under the rules and classes was to do his best and to graduate.

Later I ran into a couple of girls, one who is often entertaining me with her silly ways, the other I'd not yet met. We talked for quite a while, (actually, I listened to them talk), I ended up with a good part of each of their backgrounds. One had been in the CAS system since she was a little girl and was now almost 18 and thinking about her future. The other one lived at home but had been followed while in the home for a few years, also by CAS.

Both girls had goals, positive outlooks and I was able to really encourage them to work hard and to avoid the traps that they acknowledged had gotten a hold of them in the past.

I reminded them that they were really doing well, and that they could make a life for themselves without repeating history.

I walked away feeling much better about my day and smiling that God had answered my questions so clearly and quickly. I wish all His answers came so easily, but I know He is interested in far more than end results....and I can trust Him, but for today's answers, I am very thankful.