Ramblings and Processing

I was thinking back to a time when I was probably a preteen.

I remember this realization hitting me one day:

" Not a single person on this earth sees with my eyes or looks at the exact same things at the exact same time from the exact same angle...therefore, our interpretation of a moment or day will always be different"

Yeah, I know...strange girl and even stranger thoughts for the age.

I was weird like that.

I was thinking mostly about how we physically look at things throughout our life but today, I am also thinking about it in regards to experiences and memories of experiences.

How I experience, filter, interpret and remember a given situation or period of time all play into how I feel about it.

Someone else, may have been there too, but their filters, perspective, angle are going to be different and they may or may not feel the same way about it.

So, if I were to look back to something from another time & place and my processing has led me to see it as "bad"...but someone else processed it differently and saw it as "good"...

well which is it? Which one is reality or does it simply depend on your out look?

If I can only interpret through a single set of filters...how valuable might it be to seek out other people's viewpoints? Would I gain new insight from those perspectives and therefore feel differently ?

I think on some things yes, on others...maybe it wouldn't change much at all but in either case, I have a feeling I would see a bigger picture and not simply my little corner of the puzzle.

I know this all seems so random and maybe a wee bit strange but recently, I have reconnected with a number of old friends from a very long time ago.

When they have shared their memories of things from that time and place....

I have smiled, laughed and remembered happy things long forgotten.

They also made me cry at one point because I saw a glimpse of something or someone from a different perspective. I saw the good when all I had remembered was the bad.

It's raised a lot of questions for me but mostly given me a little bigger picture of it all.

Yes, the dark corners are still really dark....but there was something bright and wonderful and beautiful in that picture too.

Since I can't change any of it, it might be nice to look a little more closely at some of those bright areas; realize how they too form my reality.

Still processing...

Further revelation:

"And I will restore or replace for you the years that the locust has eaten--the hopping locust, the stripping locust, and the crawling locust, My great army which I sent among you."

Joel 2:25

Can I be really honest and tell you that most of my life, I have hated that scripture?

I did and to make matters worse, it seemed that every other time someone prayed over me, this is the scripture they would quote. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to punch someone after they prayed over me!

Not terribly spiritual, I know, but I am just being honest.

This morning, I had another really neat experience. I was contacted by one of my many Ranchers from a life time ago. One of the girls I was a counsellor to and then developed a penpal relationship with for years.

(I still have her letters, drawings and photos tucked away with others from my ranch days)

She had such sweet words of affirmation for me and then God reminded me of others with which I have reconnected recently through the "Facebook Beast".

I only joined to be ready to stay in contact with my son when he leaves in the fall...could God have had other plans?

He reminded me of so many wonderful people, many of which I had all but forgotten, people who have shared wonderful memories.

All from another time and place...from a period of time I guess I had mostly chosen to forget. From the very years that I thought of when people would quote that scripture over me...my thought was always the same:

"He can't give me that time back, He can't change the way things were...How could he possibly restore?!?"

Is it possible, that what I am processing and trying to come to a greater understanding of...is God showing me the bigger picture in order to restore the good and the wonderful of those very years? All that was stolen and eaten through a few bad experiences?

Maybe He really is able to restore all...

He truly is a God of wonders.