Friday, June 5, 2009
A Blonde Gets Pulled Over
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
You've read the joke, now here is the reality.
A Particular 40 year old blond (who shall remain nameless), who has never ever been pulled over by the police for any reason, is on her way back to work after dropping her freshly groomed puppy back at the house.
She is driving "the old van", the one that is about to lose it's transmission and has a small hole in the muffler so it's getting noisy.
As said Blond passes a side street, she notes a police officer but is very thankful that another vehicle comes along before the police officer pulls out.
"Oh Cheeseburgers!",the second vehicle goes in the other lane leaving the police officer directly behind the blond.
She prays that her vehicle is not so noisy as to draw the attention of the police officer, but alas, there is a red light.
The blond drives very carefully so as not to break her record of driving 20 years with out having been pulled over.
"Oh Cheeseburgers AGAIN"!!! those pretty red and blue lights go on, striking terror into the very core of the blond.
She calmly pulls on to a side street and her mind races to try and remember what it is she is supposed to have ready to show the police officer and where did her hubby tell her he put it.
(The setting would not be complete if you were not made aware of the fact that said blond happens to be decked out in "Legally Blond Pink" on this particular day)
She rifles through the glove compartment hoping whatever it is she is supposed to have ready, will miraculously appear.
The officer appears and asks if this is her vehicle. The Blond responds that it is indeed. He asks if it is in her name....uhhhh, yes.... or.... my husband's.
Police:" When is your husband's birthday?"
Shaking flustered Blond: "October 9, 1968....oh wait, no I'm '68, he's "65"
Police: "Do you realise your sticker is out of date by 8 months?"
Blond throws her head in her hands, "Oh No! OK, what do you need to do now?"
Police: "Well, that depends on what I find out here".
Flustered Blond, (still looking for whatever it is she is supposed to give this police officer),
"Ummmm, I've never been pulled over before, can you tell me what it is I am supposed to be looking for"
Police: "you've never been pulled over? Registration and Ownership...people usually have it in the glove compartment"
(Miraculously, some young girl picks this moment to cause a disturbance in her home and said police officer gets the call.)
Blond is still rifling through the contents of glove compartment and soooo glad that she made her youngest son finally take the huge steak Knife that he'd put in there one day from cutting the bands off newspapers, back in the house.
Blond: "Ummm...What color is it?"
Police: "________, (I can't remember what he said), you've really never been pulled over before?"
Blond: "No, though I did have a car accident many years ago now"
Still not finding whatever it was she was supposed to find, blond apologizes for being such a girl.
Police; "It's OK, sometimes people forget to get these things done"
(aaaa....forgetting for 8 MONTHS?!?!?)
(radio goes again...PTL!!!)
Police: "Vehicle registration is just down here a bit, it will cost you $75.00 to renew your sticker, if I write you a ticket it would be $125.00"
Blond still shaking, but smiling because he said "IF": "So that would be on my way to and from work"
Police:"where do you work?"
Police: "what time do you need to start?"
Blond: "actually now, I am returning from my lunch"
Police: "Ok, well get that taken care of"...and was gone before Anonymous blond could look in her rear view mirror....whew!!!!
Blond continued to shake for next 15 minutes, called hubby immediately about the problem, only to find out all necessary police-type papers were in another compartment all together. Hubby couldn't believe he'd forgotten the sticker on this van when the other one had been done....and Blond prayed all the way home that she would not even see a police officer.
Said van remains in driveway until further notice.