Our house was quiet with all little people tucked into their beds. I began to prepare for tomorrow, the famous "last day of school!" We have all waited so long, and it has been so busy....really all month, who am I kidding? All YEAR! My preparations (in my mind), only extended through tomorrow....
We were all ready, I was beginning to wind down for the eve. when it hit me....HARD!
I AM NOT READY!!!!!
Oh, I am ready for the routines to be set aside, for long LAZY Summer days, for lots of sunshine and the anticipation of wonderful summer memories.
I am ready for us to get to do FUN things together as a family.
I am ready for our family party to celebrate the end of a very successful school year for all...and the advancement of each into a new grade....
Even in sending Maria to French Immersion in a new school,I am comforted, knowing that she will be in the secure and capable hands of her new VP...Karen's husband, Cliff.
What I have discovered that I am not ready for, is something I have been excited about all week. Something I have been so very proud of my baby for accomplishing. Something for which in the words of her principal, I was "my child's advocate". Something that I was sure she was ready for, and after meeting with her principals, realized she was more ready for than I had imagined....
Jianna graduating from JK to grade 1, without the obligatory stop over in SK.
It seems all of Jianna's desire since before Christmas, of being in grade 1, will not have to wait another year afterall. She is so excited. How did she celebrate this achievement when she found out on Monday?
By discovering in our library of children's books, what has become her very first chapter book.
She began the story of "Junie B. First Grader (at last)". How fitting for this to be her introduction to the world of chapter books.
So, for the past three days she has read.
She read while on the swings.
She read while sitting on her bed.
She read while walking to the bathroom.
She read IN the bathroom.
She read beside me on the deck, as I read.
She WANTED to read while we got groceries today.
Today, as she graduated from JK to become a 1'st grader herself, as she finished her first chapter book...
I know she does not need the second year of Kindergarten....but as the tears rolled down my cheeks, I realized that ....I DID...
I now all too clearly realized that in all my preparations, especially those to prepare Jianna to advance a year beyond her age....
I did not stop to prepare myself.
I have so enjoyed our afternoons together.
We have memories of playing at the parks, of getting groceries...and treats, of reading together, of shopping, of folding laundry together, of walks by the Bay,of baking....and of all the other mundane little tasks that she made so much more enjoyable.
As I began to get ready for bed, I realized that tomorrow is the last of those days....just the 2 of us.....and I must admitt , my heart aches, there is a very large lump in my throat making it oh so hard to swollow, and the tears flow freely, making it impossible to see the keyboard.
So, tomorrow, don't drop by the house.
I am putting everything aside for the few short hours we will have....I need to go and play with my little girl....just the 2 of us.