I have to say...I really am a woman of Faith. I am naturally optimistic anyway, but as I have gotten to know my savior and His word more, that optimism has developed into Faith. Not perfect faith, but usually very solid faith.
Today, was a struggle. The enemy was really playing with my mind.
I mentioned in an earlier post that today is the first time since the accident 6 years ago, that Father's Day and June 17'th have been the same day.
I have been doing quite well, and almost forgot today as we finished Mark's breakfast in bed. When we were getting ready though, I suddenly remembered, with the added torment of realizing that Mark had to drive Jonathan to work, which meant the other three children and I were travelling to church alone again.
I tried to shut down all fear but, it wasn't as easy as usual...finally I told Mark. He reassured me, BUT told me to take the old van...if I was going to crash one, he wanted it to be that one. I DID NOT THINK THIS WAS THE LEAST BIT FUNNY, made a face at him, and took the new van!
As much as I wanted to ignore the enemy, he reminded me that Mark had had "a feeling" that day, that we should all travel together...so who was I hearing? I admit I prayed all the way to church this morning, and I would not allow my now almost 11 year old son to sit in the front, and I made sure I didn't have to cross at the same spot.....
Lack of Faith?....quite possibly, but I am also not stupid, and I will not give in to the enemy's fears....but I also won't lay down my weapons for even a moment!
For the new readers who may not know, 6 years ago, on Father's Day, I was travelling with my two youngest children to church. I was newly pregnant with my fourth child. My oldest son and my husband biked together to church that day. Literally crossing into the church parking lot, I was hit....and HARD.
My recollection is pieced together from those who were there...my husband, my 9 year old son, and most of my church family including a multitude of children. There are about 6 hours of that day that remain lost to me...concussion. I am actually thankful now for those memories being gone...I don't need to remember the agonizing cries of my almost 5 year old as his broken little body was extricated from the vehicle. Or the fear in my 2 year old's tears. The look of shear shock on the one son's face who was not in the accident but witnessed his family in the grips of the enemy's trap.
What I do want to remember is the man of Faith who immediately upon hearing and seeing that his family was in this accident, began to declare LIFE over his children and wife. Who began to command the enemy to take his hands off of our lives, who declared the goodness of God and His healing hand over each one of us. All the while giving instruction and comfort to us in the car, and those who were witnessing this.
I want to remember the Healing hand of my God who instantly healed a punctured lung in my 4 year old Michael. Who caused the four broken bones in his little hands to heal extremely quickly.
Who took all pain from the broken nose that this same child was suffering with, and who comforted and strengthened this little boy as he under went surgery for his broken femur.
I want to remember His comfort to my mother's heart and mind as He spoke to me directly about this unborn child. About her being completely covered by the prayers of a young teen's desperation...almost 20 years before. Of His reminder that "no weapon formed against any one of us would prosper".
I want to remember as I look on each one of the perfectly healthy, perfectly recovered faces of my family, that I have the most amazing most faithful Father in the universe.
I want to remember that He has truly turned our mourning into joy...
I want to remember that He will never leave nor forsake any one of us...
I want to remember that what the enemy has intended for evil in our lives,my God is always redeeming for Good...
I want to remember that we are hidden under the shelter of His wing....
I want to remember that His plans for us are for good and not to harm us...
I want to remember that He has once again given us Beauty for Ashes....
4 comments:
Jen,
I remember that day too.....what a testimony..thank you Jesus.
Thanks for being real in that piece.
Karen
Okay....I am wipping the tears of my keyboard!! Your family is so special to us! I praise God for His protection on you and your family.
Wow.
I, too, am wiping away the tears.
God is so faithful.
OH my goodness. We serve a wonderfully faithful God.
Keep choosing to remember His faithfulness and testify loudly about it sister!
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